Smelly Science

My sense of smell is the one thing I have, that is SOOO overdeveloped (Why could it not have rather been my boobs??).I can seriously smell the slightest thing, pleasant or unpleasant.  Aniseed gives me terrible headaches, as well as Red Door perfume – awful, awful stuff (of course in my opinion) but what I cannot stand at all is the smell of a fart!!  I do believe a fart should be released only in the bathroom, and really, I honestly think that EVERYBODY can manage to contain it till then.  The science of smell is simple; perfume contains particles of rose and this and that.  If you spray some perfume in the air and walk through it mouth gaping, you’ll most definitely be left with a bitter perfumy after taste.  Soooo… think about this for a moment…. A fart definitely contains particles – little microscopic pieces of fermented, devoured, digested particles of poop. So if you do happen to be so totally misinformed to be in the company of someone that is gas filled and ready to inconsiderately release that warm, particle filled fart, AND if you just so happened to ever have your mouth open, then you most definitely got yourself a mouth full of poop.  Thus the reason for my total despise of the dreaded fart.  I mean, really people … go fart somewhere isolated… and especially those of you that so love doing it in the Mall…  If you are a silent farter…I hope you get an unexpected wet one.


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