Horrifying Hair

My hair, like my memory, is riddled with confusion. It doesn’t know if it should curl or be straight. As a result I’m left with a muddled mess, curling just enough to look like an escapee from the mental institution! Moisture is definitely a fo and not friend.

The person that invented the moisture sensor had, without a doubt, hair similar to mine that evoked great inspiration for this device. I can not leave anything to chance, so straight after a wash and dry, I grab my dearest companion, my hair straighter. I know the heat damages my hair, but guilt over that only riddles me for a split second.

I go to work and straighten layer after layer, taming any unruly bits with heat and forcing them down. Nice and straight! Until the tiniest, littlelest bit of moisture is detected…then nature unleashes it’s fury. I can almost feel the sleek bits poofing out like instant noodles absorbing water in the microwave.

Besides the increase in frizzy volume, the two little bits by my ears make these scary stupid curly bits that poke through the top layer and even when tied they do not go down! Crazy person look without a doubt. What is absolutely devastating is the fact that my arms are sagging and aging and ace when I have to straighten my hair for half an hour. It occurred to me that when I’m old and fossil-like I won’t be able to straighten it. I’ll have to settle for a very short cut that will curl itself into crappiness or long frizzy hair in a bun.

Both of these thoughts leave me feeling the onset of indigestion! I truly hope that somewhere in my future (hopefully near future) I’ll experience some blissful hormonal changes that will leave me with glowing skin, and either very straight or satisfyingly curly hair. Holding thumbs 😉


One thought on “Horrifying Hair

  1. I absolutely feel your pain. My hair is the same way – not straight and not curly. I live in a dry climate so most of the time it is just limp. When I visit family on the east coast it gets crazy curly/frizzy.

    I have given up the battle and just wear it up in a bun. I am 42 years old and I’ve turned into my Ukranian grandmother!


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