Info me infomercials

Infomercials give me serious bouts of indigestion and moments of disbelief. No one should ever purchase a product advertise by an overly excited, failed motivational speaker that uses loads of confusing hand gestures.

With so many “useful” products to choose from, one must fight the urge to feel overwhelmed by the “quality” and “effectiveness” of these products. Sadly though, I know a worryingly big group of people that in moments of weakness or pure confusion, bought some of these products. So I’m somewhat of an expert on their use and effectiveness πŸ˜‰

So to enlighten you about a few; You get this little bug thing, plug it in and whalaaa, no more pests. Well yes, I STILL see lots of pests, but granted it has lots of little flashing lights that is entertaining to watch… So a must have for any bored house wife! I think they decided to install the lights as a distraction or to accomplish some mind altering hypnosis so that you actually believe it rids you of pests.

Then the wonderful bra invention that you can wear anywhere, and it’s so comfy and supportive…but be warned, if you don’t have perfect boobs, you’ll end up having a nice uniboob look. But hey, you’ll be comfortable!

I also love this one brush thing, it detangles hair painlessly, and if you have a head of curly hair that frizz with normal brushes, well don’t fret any further, this brush leaves your hair with beautiful defined curls. I think they forgot to add the fine print that states this effect is only obtained through a visit to the salon.

They have endless amounts of hair removal products, for your nose hair and under arm hair etc etc, note how all their products remove hair painlessly… No matter how drugged or drunk or confused I might ever find myself in life, nothing will ease the pain of ripping hair out by the root for the perfect bikini wax! So I’m not convinced of their pain free effectiveness.

Then there is all the wonderful exercise equipment…undoubtedly my absolute favorite! I especially like the vibrating equipment that you simply hold onto and then it transforms your body into a lean muscle machine, six pack and all. I reckon that combined with all the wonderful tasting slimming and detox teas they have available, it is no doubt a winning combo πŸ˜‰

I wonder endlessly where on earth they get the people for those infomercials? They are sissies I tell you. Look at the pain the poor women goes through trying to brush her tangled hair, which by the way is standing up in ways I did not think possible…I clearly have never experienced tangled hair in my life. The people look so tired and gloomy till they have their special tea, then suddenly they are blissfully happy swimming at an exotic holiday resort. The DIY people are the best, they use whatever tool, and scrunch up their noses and wipe the sweat off their faces and they simply cannot do the job until they have their infomercial tool! Endless entertainment if you find yourself bored stiff.

And how is it that they advertise the product and say it’s only on sale NOW, so you HAVE to call immediately, but when you go to their retail store, all the products there are at the same price, any day of the year?

It’s a mystery I tell you πŸ™‚

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