I believe in my realizations

I love making lists. I don’t necessarily remember to look at them or even to take them with to the shop, but I still make them. I’m currently jotting down my “reflecting on 2011” list with my newly acquired life experience and knowledge that the past year has left me with.

Beliefs:
*I believe that flies are microscopic aliens trying to take over the earth.
*I believe that my clothes aren’t getting smaller, but that my washing machine is packing up and shrinking everything.
*I believe in the magnificent aroma and gloriousness of coffee.
*I believe that if you don’t eat chocolate you’ll end up with a chemical imbalance in your brain.
*I believe that cheese is great on bread, but fabulous with wine.
*I believe in my moisturiser and applying it in an upward direction.
*I believe that good underwear makes you feel good, great underwear makes you feel great.
*I believe a wife must seduce her husband.
*I believe that dessert can be a main meal or breakfast.
*I believe that if I fell into the ocean the fish around me would suddenly feel hungry and that any fish can bite.
*I believe that walking in public and eating at the same time is rude.
*I believe in the splendid earthyness of potatoes.
*I believe that I’m not going grey, but that my hair is slowly turning blonde.

Realizations:
*I realize that no underwire bra would ever make my boobs feel like they did before I had children.
*I realize that I’m actually allergic to our cat.
*I realize that I don’t like negative people … At all.
*I realize that some people aren’t worth having in my life.
*I realize that you can’t attach paintings to a wall with tic-tac.
*I realize that I want to be respected by people, especially my children.
*I realize that the world is filled with bad parents.
*I realize that no matter how bad my cooking is, my husband will eat it anyway.
*I realize that I prefer silver to gold.
*I realize that I desperately need to go get new reading glasses.

Hopefully 2012 will leave me enriched with longer lists of beliefs and realizations 😉

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