I have a fear… I fear that I might forget the things and people I love. Waking up one morning and not knowing where I put something, or forgetting someone dear to me.
I suppose it is an irrational fear for now, but the reality remains that I might end up forgetful or without my precious memories. I am unbelievably sentimental and feel utterly distraught when I loose something I cherished or loved. It’s never so much about the item as it is about the memory attached to it.
I’ve had this fear for as long as I remember and therefore I have learned to put methods into place to ensure that I “store” in essence some of the precious moments in my life. My blog lends soothing and reassuring aid in this process. It’s a precious file that holds my boring moments, my flopped food ideas, my moments of sadness that I can never share personally with anyone, my moments of bliss and all my indulgences.
It hides my fears and secrets, confessions, hopes and motivations. On days where I wonder why I even bother to blog, I realize that I do it to record the steps in my life that I don’t want to forget or loose.
Just like my art… I can never stick to my decision to give it up… It’s to intertwined with every bit of my being and will be until I forget that I have a blog 😉