Sleep…not so much

It’s said that sleep is the one thing you cannot catch up on once lost… If that is the case, and beauty sleep is something I definitely need lots of, then I have found the reason behind my saggy eyes, dull skin and questionable mood.

I don’t often sleep well and mostly have a bad night. On rare occasion I’ll sleep an entire night without waking, but as I said… on rare occasion. I wonder if getting less good quality sleep can shorten your lifespan?? Hmmmm definitely something well worth googling.

I have no problems with having a shorter than usual lifespan, but for the moment I would enjoy at least four out of seven nights of good sleep… Sigh

And then of course with very little sleep you are predisposed to so many other ailments… Annoyance and weird food cravings ranking quite high on my list… So feeling super annoyed at the moment and craving anything and everything that I can not possibly find within my grasp, it seems a very long night ahead. Big sigh…

For you my Friend

My friend

Sometimes I see so clearly in your eyes
The sorrow and hurt of certain goodbyes
Your heartache and longing for a mom that you miss
The distance too great between you and your sis

Your confidence in all your abilities down
Too many issues causing a frown
Your tender little heart bearing everyone’s worries
Hearing their troubles, complaints and their sorry’s

Trying always to seem strong and sure
Being a good friend with a heart that’s pure
But sometimes it helps to just shed a tear
To admit to your heartache and sorrows and fear

I wish you could see how wonderful you are
That everyone adores you both near and far
An intelligent women filled with beauty and grace
A wonderful mother and wife with a glow upon her face

If confidence and self love could be placed in a box
I’d give you both in this year’s christmas socks
I’d take a tiny bit of your stubbornness away
saving it for when needed on a rainy day 😉

Love you my friend! You’ll forever be my most favorite unofficial sister-in-law 🙂

Cheerio Cheer?

With Christmas creeping closer, I feel like there is an invisible rubber band slowly constricting tighter around my body robbing me of precious air. I have always loved the festive season. I love the smells and aromas of good food that tingles your taste buds, the smells of all the familiar people you get to see and hug and share the festive cheer with, as well as the smell of all the decorations making their appearance after an entire year of slumber.

This year however I will have no tree to put up, no decorations to dust off and hang on the branches, frankly I feel as if I have lost my christmas cheer. This year has been challenging, I have come to know so many emotions I have not felt before. With my divorce also not yet finalized I feel there are so many loose ends that remain unresolved keeping my year in a mess.

I know Christmas is not about gifts and all that, but I do feel burdened by the thought that I cannot spoil my girls like before or give them a huge tree to enjoy. Christmas day is also my daughter’s birthday which adds another band to my already very constricted chest. She so desires to have a party before school breaks up in 3 weeks. Turning ten is a big thing for her… what to do … what to do … Sigh.

This will most definitely be a challenging Christmas. I keep reminding myself that I still have so much to be grateful for regardless of all that has happened this year. I cannot possibly sit back and allow myself any self pity, it will be so pathetic. I have thought of some ideas on how to spend the school holiday with my girls constructively. We might not have a tree, we might not have lots of gifts, but we do have each other and for that I’m utterly grateful, and somehow I’ll make it work. Perhaps with a few creative ideas we’ll spruce up the bland walls a bit, and who knows, we might even conjure up a tree 🙂