The end of year is in sight. Like everyone else, I look forward to the break. So much has happened this year and not much has happened this year. I feel like stagnant water, still and unmoving.
I am looking forward to Christmas in a way I haven’t for three years. I will have two very special visitors, mom and dad, visiting.
Along with my excitement, I also feel a need for change, to move forward in some or other direction.
I haven’t accomplished much this year. My focus has been blurred and I just can’t find exactly what it is that I want. What I am sure of, is that I need some change…and soon.
Ironic, because it was the one thing I did not want two years ago.
Sigh, a good long break is exactly what I need to clear my mind and to make the choices required for the new year.
For now.. I am counting down the days to when I can see my beautiful parents. So excited!!
The one thing I have always told my girls, is first of all be kind.
There might possibly be several other emotions you feel or express, but just start with the basics… be kind. Think before you speak…is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it nessesary…is it kind.
First encounters when we meet people or interact with others, the guy helping at the store or a colleague at work…be kind.
Everyone is fighting their own battle. It can be as simple as a bad night of sleep, a family member passing. We don’t know what rages on in others. Contribute to improving their day, not adding to their burden.
I was recently reminded of the quote in the image above… someone asked me ‘what has changed’… after much thought and trying to pin point what it was that was feeling like such a tremendous burden, I realised that nothing has changed other than how I felt about something.
The impact of a simple action can change how we feel and make it difficult to navigate back to our previous state of being.
People have such a profound impact on our life with how they make us feel. We have so much power, we can encourage and mentor and celebrate together. Why are there those who need to constantly critisise, find fault and discourage? It is sad that relationships fall in the path of their impossible personalities.
The night sky is filled with dead stars
Sparkling lights remain as scars
Whispers of beauty that once burned bright
Shiny shadows that no longer hold light
Trapped in darkness for all to see
Wishing their shadows will be set free
Gosh, what a shitty day.
My baby sis is in hospital with a blood clot on her lung… pregnant after much difficulty, making treatment somewhat challenging. It’s been on my mind constantly and made today tough to get through.
I have been feeling very depressed lately, missing out on family things and home, last week was a real tipping point.
Went to a new chiro today. Turns out I have a few things going on…Piriformis syndrome, Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Upper crossed syndrome…sounds like magic spell names 😊. Finally explains the shoulder pain, numb arm, lower back pain, headaches, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, fatigue and overall super bitchy grumpiness. At least I wasn’t having a heart attack even though it felt like it Lol. On the scale of what is considered normal range of motion, mine was below half and I have practically no pulse on either side when putting my arms out to the side. Riveting stuff I tell you!
After embarrassing myself with some involuntary tears, the poor chiro guy apologised and sent me on my way. So drugged up and a glass of wine later, I feel a fraction closer to normal. Not happy, but almost normal.
Now all I need is to get some news my sister is healthy and ok.
Golden sunshine rising in all it’s glory
Beautiful African sun
Deprived to see it and tell the story
For fear of staring down a loaded gun
Deepest blue oceans with whitest waves
Beautiful African waters
Violence leading to too many graves
Saddened by unnessesary slaughters
Wild life and culture like no other
Beautiful African life
Family killing brother on brother
Husband killing his wife
Mountains forming a wonderous landscape
Beautiful African wonders
Mouths silenced and covered by tape
Fear filled sky of thunders
Sancturay exceptional in so many ways
Beautiful African home
Unsafe so no one stays
Escaping to a foreign dome
For Africa runs deep in these veins
Engraved in all that we are
Missing the beauty and empty plains
Longing to not be so far