Green tea detox delight…uh…no


Green tea..hmmmm… uhm.. nope…  the word green evokes so many positive feelings… nature, freshly cut grass, good health, a clean world, little drops of morning dew on a tiny leaf, sustainability etc etc. But let me tell you one thing, it evokes absolutely none of those emotions in me when it is connected to the word *Tea*.

I am going through a semi mid life crisis where I feel old and tired and more flabby than usual. So what does any normal urban house wife and mother do?? Google a solution.  Aaah, my good old friend Google, we share an intimate relationship, you know my deep desires, my dark secrets, my every desire and symptom… oh wait, Google thinks I’m dying.  So hold that thought. It might not be the best idea (EVER) to google any symptoms you might have as Google doctors would undoubtedly give you a diagnosis that only House MD would be able to cure.

Makes no difference in my need to feel a little less fatigued and have a bit more spring in my step.  The thought has crossed my mind that my oh-so-gorgeous-partner might be the cause of my lack of sleep, because besides his dashing looks he is not a bad conversationalist it seems.. those attributes paired with a glass of red deliciousness might leave most ladies a little tired.

Sigh… anyway …focus – another thing I seem to struggle with 🙂   So back to the topic… I am doing a green tea cleanse. Five tiny cups of hot greenish looking water with no added sugar for pleasure and no milk just to sap away any possibility of pleasure per day. Yip, I know it sound so easy, a walk in the park, but it is NOT!  I managed 3 tiny cups and one mug (made for me by our tea lady)  yesterday and opted to down it instead of taking small torturous mouthfuls, after all. sometimes it is just best to swallow right?.  It made me feel..wait for it… the same 😦 . But it was the first day of five, so on to today. Just finished cup number 2 and doubt I’ll manage more than 3… after all our tea lady is off sick today, so all in all not REALLY my fault.

I feel a little lighter, not sure if it is all the weedy looking greens just going to my head though, but will see after this week.  I recon I will be nothing short of an expert and will be able to give you all some sound advise if you wanted to try it .. wink wink, lol.  After this I will definitely try something else, my friend Google has the best ideas.

Resolutions on track????

Aah yes, sadly as I previously confessed, my new years resolutions fell of my wagon ages ago. Trying ever so hard to beat the flabby, saggy gravity inviting pull of age I have yet again decided to torture myself in trying to stick to some form of diet and exercise. Monday generally being the start of most tortures things, I allocated mine to the start of my new regime.

Mind you that I am equipped with a secret weapon or two in the glorious form of an endearing friend and baby sister that is a personal trainer. My friend and I will try and resume some form of walking, I suggested trying a light jog, but my subconscious mind has been flagging the idea with images of us having to phone for help as we lay on the side of the road in need of water and transport.

My sister suggested her most favorite form of exercise using resistance bands and small weights. I’m getting heart palpetations already and I can seriously feel the impact on my body just contemplating the very idea…but exercise seems definite and I’ll give it a go. Other than exercise, I’m dedicating myself to all things sadly deprived of a sugar content 😦 oh yes, the cherry on this very unsatisfyingly dreary cake is that consumption of water will commence aswell.

(BIG SIGH) If all I get out of this scoundress deal is glowing skin and better all over energy, then it might be worth it. I will however undoubtedly fill my body with all things gloriously sweet over the weekend making sure my hamster cheeks store as much sugary delights as possible! I’ll also have pudding at my monthly book club get together as these are undeniably to scrumptious to say no to.

So holding thumbs for myself, hope to at least make it through one week 😉

Experimentingly Saggy

I’m contemplating subjecting by body to science… Haven’t decided yet, but considering. This year has truly marked the spot on my life calendar where I can see a very clear and distinct dulling effect in my skin. Sure I’m constantly poisoning it by not drinking enough water and forever having overdoses of sugar, but still it is sadingly depressing.

Besides the dulling, forever crevasse forming skin, every other part of my body seems to be on a frantic race to see which can sag down the quickest. Sigh… What to do? So, grabbed this book I have on Yoga and flipped through it to see if anything seems worth trying.

Under the steps and bla-d-bla, they say “if your body hurts at any point you should stop” … Well I can tell you now, looking at those moves, this body will hurt. Now does that mean I should stop before I start? I think so.

Another depressing reality is my boobs sudden urge to stretch themselves as far down as they can possibly go…I reckon I should start tracking their descent by taking yearly measurements from nipple to toe.

I will with absolution start going on a sugar diet … After all the party sweets are done … And try to have at least a glass or two of water in addition to heart health increasing amounts of exercise 😦

So my contribution to science will be to see if the effects of moderate exercise and no dieting other than less sugar and more water will improve my almost deadly looking dull skin and saggy boobs.

Now off to go measure I go… Hi ho hi ho ladi da tidi da da da