Birthday Tatts

Sooo, my birthday turned into a birthday weekend full of spoils. We spent most of the weekend with all our kids, sipping on wine and relaxing. As wonderful as it was, I was looking forward to my postponed birthday gift from my dearest 🙂

Wha laaa 🙂 🙂

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He went first … I considered chickening out, but mustered up enough oh-so-much-needed courage and after about 6 minutes I was branded for life 🙂  And YES YES, it did hurt! I am definitely not one for pain inflicted on purpose. Now it’s been about 3 days of healing, still looking a little bruised but healing well, so hopefully any discomfort and pain will soon be forgotten. I might opt for another one in future, but definitely not any time soon.

Birthday Build up

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I’m so excited..  I’m not usually big on birthdays, but my upcoming one will definitely be the best ever.  I absolutely love surprises, but this year I know exactly what I will be getting for my birthday. Gigantic smile…

I can’t wait, last night a part of my birthday gift was completed and once it is all done it will be amazing.

I will be sure to post pics and let you all know what my special birthday gift was 🙂 

Mothers Day Bliss

Another Mothers Day has come and gone. I’m so blessed to have two amazing girls that I can call my daughters! There are so many days where I reflect on our relationship and I feel privileged to say it’s one filled with respect, love, loyalty and laughter.

Once again they made my day special in every way. My youngest daughter told me after the fact that they had to take money to school for the gift they where preparing, and she saved her tuck shop money to pay for it instead of asking me for money. So cute, she was so excited when I fetched her from school on Friday and could not wait until Sunday to give me my surprise.

I woke up late on Sunday, spoiled with coffee in bed by my love and hugs and wishes from the girls. There is nothing quite as special as warm cuddles filled with extra bits of love and appreciation. After our late start I went to give some of my own hugs and kisses to my mom and shared in a bit of conversation and love. I’m so privileged to still have my mom and realize that I have to cherish the moments and time with her.

After our visit to my mom, we spent some time with my “sister-in-law”, another amazing mommy that is absolutely adored by her daughter, her in Law’s and my love’s dad and his soon to be step mom. Amazing people! I’m so blessed to share in so much love.

Thanks girls! I loved my sweet treats, beautiful artwork, cards and my very yummy smelling bath goodies!! You made mommy’s day so special, love you tons! xxx

Wish…Want…

So at last Christmas has come and gone. I must admit I’m glad it’s over. This was the first year I didn’t spend Christmas day with my girls and didn’t see my mom and dad.

Seeing as the girls had to go to their dad’s, we opted to do everything we usually do on Christmas day on Christmas eve. My dad put up lights as usual for the girls and everyone tried to be in the festive spirit. My daughter turned 10 on Christmas day. I only briefly saw my girls Christmas morning before dropping them at their dad’s.

I woke with a heavy heart and the trip to their dad’s was agonizingly painful. I just felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. My youngest daughter didn’t say a word for the entire trip and saying goodbye was heartbreaking. I know it’s only for a couple of days, but it makes no difference.

I ended up spending Christmas with friends and had absolutely amazing food and dessert, but I could not shake the feeling of sadness I felt the entire day. It’s truly emotionally draining to feel so overwhelmed by it. I so missed my girls.

Christmas held no surprises, I didn’t have a Christmas list, but did wish for one or two things. Wishes don’t come true though, and this year mine left me disappointed … Sigh

I’m dreading 2013, I’m hoping it will be a better year than the current one.

Cheerio Cheer?

With Christmas creeping closer, I feel like there is an invisible rubber band slowly constricting tighter around my body robbing me of precious air. I have always loved the festive season. I love the smells and aromas of good food that tingles your taste buds, the smells of all the familiar people you get to see and hug and share the festive cheer with, as well as the smell of all the decorations making their appearance after an entire year of slumber.

This year however I will have no tree to put up, no decorations to dust off and hang on the branches, frankly I feel as if I have lost my christmas cheer. This year has been challenging, I have come to know so many emotions I have not felt before. With my divorce also not yet finalized I feel there are so many loose ends that remain unresolved keeping my year in a mess.

I know Christmas is not about gifts and all that, but I do feel burdened by the thought that I cannot spoil my girls like before or give them a huge tree to enjoy. Christmas day is also my daughter’s birthday which adds another band to my already very constricted chest. She so desires to have a party before school breaks up in 3 weeks. Turning ten is a big thing for her… what to do … what to do … Sigh.

This will most definitely be a challenging Christmas. I keep reminding myself that I still have so much to be grateful for regardless of all that has happened this year. I cannot possibly sit back and allow myself any self pity, it will be so pathetic. I have thought of some ideas on how to spend the school holiday with my girls constructively. We might not have a tree, we might not have lots of gifts, but we do have each other and for that I’m utterly grateful, and somehow I’ll make it work. Perhaps with a few creative ideas we’ll spruce up the bland walls a bit, and who knows, we might even conjure up a tree 🙂