Detox update – the misery

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Day 3 of my green tea detox started off miserably.. Tea lady still off sick so I thought I have no choice but to skip. After all my hands are completely incapable of preparing my own little cup of green gunkiness.  Big sigh..but enter the wonderful colleague that spoils me with coffee way too often and whalaaa… cup of deliciousness 😦

So I’m on cup number two.. I think the green tea is definitely altering my mood.  I definitely feel like I’m having a PMS day.  Ladies you would understand.  Not the moody I-want to-kill-hubby-and-kids moody, but the I-feel-like-crying-because-that-tampon-add-is-just-so-beautiful moody.  I can’t deal with anything. Dogs on Facebook – sad, Kids on X-Factor – sad, Smiles from people I work with – sad.  I blame the tea.

So what to do when you can’t melt into an unrealistic puddle of sadness.  It really is tough being a women, I’d much rather just scratch my balls and down tons of green tea like a boss.  But it seems my balls have retracted into my body (and yeah girls, this really does happen to men) and left with very little testosterone to man up, I do kinda feel a little fragile.  Yet again, I blame the stupid tea!

Not sure if this was the best idea, but then i haven’t had the greatest world changing ideas of late. None the less I will finish, or I’ll be finished come end of the week. Either way I will keep you updated. Purely because this is so life changing interesting and I’m sure you have nothing better to do with your time but to read this.

P.S  Feel free to shower me with gifts and comments, and and.. seeing as I’m high on green tea and filled with toxic levels of estrogen coursing through my green tinted veins I need all the support I can get 🙂

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Green tea detox delight…uh…no

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Green tea..hmmmm… uhm.. nope…  the word green evokes so many positive feelings… nature, freshly cut grass, good health, a clean world, little drops of morning dew on a tiny leaf, sustainability etc etc. But let me tell you one thing, it evokes absolutely none of those emotions in me when it is connected to the word *Tea*.

I am going through a semi mid life crisis where I feel old and tired and more flabby than usual. So what does any normal urban house wife and mother do?? Google a solution.  Aaah, my good old friend Google, we share an intimate relationship, you know my deep desires, my dark secrets, my every desire and symptom… oh wait, Google thinks I’m dying.  So hold that thought. It might not be the best idea (EVER) to google any symptoms you might have as Google doctors would undoubtedly give you a diagnosis that only House MD would be able to cure.

Makes no difference in my need to feel a little less fatigued and have a bit more spring in my step.  The thought has crossed my mind that my oh-so-gorgeous-partner might be the cause of my lack of sleep, because besides his dashing looks he is not a bad conversationalist it seems.. those attributes paired with a glass of red deliciousness might leave most ladies a little tired.

Sigh… anyway …focus – another thing I seem to struggle with 🙂   So back to the topic… I am doing a green tea cleanse. Five tiny cups of hot greenish looking water with no added sugar for pleasure and no milk just to sap away any possibility of pleasure per day. Yip, I know it sound so easy, a walk in the park, but it is NOT!  I managed 3 tiny cups and one mug (made for me by our tea lady)  yesterday and opted to down it instead of taking small torturous mouthfuls, after all. sometimes it is just best to swallow right?.  It made me feel..wait for it… the same 😦 . But it was the first day of five, so on to today. Just finished cup number 2 and doubt I’ll manage more than 3… after all our tea lady is off sick today, so all in all not REALLY my fault.

I feel a little lighter, not sure if it is all the weedy looking greens just going to my head though, but will see after this week.  I recon I will be nothing short of an expert and will be able to give you all some sound advise if you wanted to try it .. wink wink, lol.  After this I will definitely try something else, my friend Google has the best ideas.

What would you change about your body??

I came across this video on Facebook. I so wish that all I wanted was a mermaid tail …sigh. I struggle with so many body issues on a daily basis and never really leave my house feeling completely comforable in my skin. I know how women are judged and I always have that looming thought in mind. It wasn’t always like this, and it has nothing to do with me getting older as I look mostly the same other than some wrinkles. I have some blemishes that causes me to cringe when i look in the mirror, and everytime someone looks at me I know that they see it, and they judge because it is so ugly. I don’t really know when things went pear shaped, I don’t really know where I lost the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin… I hope one day it returns and that when that day comes maybe all i would want is a mermaid tail. But for now, if I had the money I would have gone for laser and who knows what all

Self-image

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As a women I have often had conversations with a friends and the topic of self-image comes up numerous times. We all know society is fiercely superficial displaying images of only the most beautiful women with amazing bodies. We try to raise our daughters to focus on their inner beauty and to not worry about what other people think or say, but somewhere along the line they will have a change in how they view themselves. I personally think a fraction of women are truly confident and happy with their looks, with most of us trying to at least just be content.

I have had this discussion with men also, and not to generalize, but most men will confidently tell us that “men are visual” and that’s why they look and that’s why they desire. I wonder sometimes if men think that women have absolutely no visual cortex. It’s almost a given that men can “let go” of themselves and get grossly fat and unattractive to their partners, but heaven forbid if you are a women and do the same. Yes, of course you love your partner no matter their looks, but do you then still desire that person? Men can try and convince you they love you no matter how you look, but will then constantly look elsewhere. When you lose all confidence in your ability to be attractive to your partner, then they can’t understand why you feel this way.

How many times do we as women look at ourselves and start the familiar internal conversation…trying to convince yourself that you’ve lost your shape to give birth to your beautiful children, or because you are in some or other hormonal phase in your life… trying to convince yourself it makes you unique. Then slowly feeling your throat constricting and the disgust building up inside you. Knowing you are only as satisfying visually until the next best thing comes around.

Body image is the mental representation of what we think we look like. It is influenced by so many factors and it strongly influences our behavior. I feel so saddened that my girls have to grow up in a world where society will at some point influence how they feel about themselves and most men will make them feel inadequate. It also makes me so cross to think that men can ride the excuse of “we are visual” and us as women must just take it!! We as women are also visual, we also enjoy beautiful looking people, we just don’t have the luxury to sit back and get fat and judge.

Sigh, so as I’m sitting eating a cooking and absolutely hating myself for it, I resent society and men for being so unfair. Please don’t bombard me with hateful comments, just let me vent…tomorrow I might feel different…doubt it…but maybe