Whoop whoop…Nearly there

I’m exhausted, and yet so excited I won’t be able to sleep. It’s been a crazy 2 weeks and today was suuuper long. Went in to work at the crack of dawn and came home after dinner. I really felt like falling straight into bed. That was until my sister told me her husband is on his way to drop my parents off at the airport.

They are almost on their way. I feel like I have won the lotto, I am so excited and doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. I can’t believe they are almost here.

I can’t wait to hug them and take in the familiar smells of everything that is home to me.

We only have a short time together, and a part of me really wishes that we did win just a little bit of lotto to spoil them rotten lol. But I will take what I can get 😁

So happy, in this moment, right now.. happiest I have been in 3 years.

I can’t wait.. Yay!!

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Star light … star bright

The night sky is filled with dead stars
Sparkling lights remain as scars

Whispers of beauty that once burned bright
Shiny shadows that no longer hold light

Trapped in darkness for all to see
Wishing their shadows will be set free

Same same but different

Gosh, what a shitty day.

My baby sis is in hospital with a blood clot on her lung… pregnant after much difficulty, making treatment somewhat challenging. It’s been on my mind constantly and made today tough to get through.

I have been feeling very depressed lately, missing out on family things and home, last week was a real tipping point.

Went to a new chiro today. Turns out I have a few things going on…Piriformis syndrome, Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Upper crossed syndrome…sounds like magic spell names 😊. Finally explains the shoulder pain, numb arm, lower back pain, headaches, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, fatigue and overall super bitchy grumpiness. At least I wasn’t having a heart attack even though it felt like it Lol. On the scale of what is considered normal range of motion, mine was below half and I have practically no pulse on either side when putting my arms out to the side. Riveting stuff I tell you!

After embarrassing myself with some involuntary tears, the poor chiro guy apologised and sent me on my way. So drugged up and a glass of wine later, I feel a fraction closer to normal. Not happy, but almost normal.

Now all I need is to get some news my sister is healthy and ok.

Home

Golden sunshine rising in all it’s glory
Beautiful African sun
Deprived to see it and tell the story
For fear of staring down a loaded gun

Deepest blue oceans with whitest waves
Beautiful African waters
Violence leading to too many graves
Saddened by unnessesary slaughters

Wild life and culture like no other
Beautiful African life
Family killing brother on brother
Husband killing his wife

Mountains forming a wonderous landscape
Beautiful African wonders
Mouths silenced and covered by tape
Fear filled sky of thunders

Sancturay exceptional in so many ways
Beautiful African home
Unsafe so no one stays
Escaping to a foreign dome

For Africa runs deep in these veins
Engraved in all that we are
Missing the beauty and empty plains
Longing to not be so far

Home is where the heart is

Today I am feeling homesick… It’s difficult to explain. Just desperately need something familiar. I’m going to be an auntie, maybe the thought that I am missing out on so many things that are so important to me, makes me feel this way. Questioning if it is all worth it…the constant hard work, the worry, the tremendous sacrifice.