Aunt to be πŸ˜Š

My baby sister is anxiously awaiting her first born. Her rainbow baby, a little miracle after a very difficult road of loss and struggle. We are all waiting for the moment.

I couldn’t sleep last night… I am so scared I won’t hear the notification on my phone telling me I am an aunt 😊. I felt like a pile of emotional mushy-ness today, like I needed a hug kind of mushy-ness. That and a ton of cronuts washed down with wine.

Not being there will be heartbreaking, I would give anything to see my sister and hold my niece. Although I will miss it, I am so grateful that the little miracle she has been waiting for is nearly here. It’s so exciting…counting the days…

#almostanaunt

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Butterflies…

What a December! Soul food…that’s what it was. Three weeks to relax and reset and with the bonus of my mom and dad visiting. It was exactly what I needed.

It was an amazing Christmas. I realised just how much I missed my family but also how much I appreciate my children and the adults they are becoming.

I told hubbie that this is going to be a good year. I feel ready for change… the thing I feared most for the last 3 years. I need it and if it doesn’t find me, I will go look to find it. There are so many exciting opportunities and I feel surrounded by people receiving these. This year I can’t just sit back and miss out. I can’t do the same thing and expect a different outcome.

My list of ‘keeps’ has been written, I have already begun to discard things that are just clutter and hold no importance. It’s amazing how less is actually just SO much MORE.

I am so grateful for my beautiful children, love love my amazing husband and adore my Lily pups. I have people I can call friends and people that inspire me. It is going to be a good year 😊

Whoop whoop…Nearly there

I’m exhausted, and yet so excited I won’t be able to sleep. It’s been a crazy 2 weeks and today was suuuper long. Went in to work at the crack of dawn and came home after dinner. I really felt like falling straight into bed. That was until my sister told me her husband is on his way to drop my parents off at the airport.

They are almost on their way. I feel like I have won the lotto, I am so excited and doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. I can’t believe they are almost here.

I can’t wait to hug them and take in the familiar smells of everything that is home to me.

We only have a short time together, and a part of me really wishes that we did win just a little bit of lotto to spoil them rotten lol. But I will take what I can get 😁

So happy, in this moment, right now.. happiest I have been in 3 years.

I can’t wait.. Yay!!

Same same but different

Gosh, what a shitty day.

My baby sis is in hospital with a blood clot on her lung… pregnant after much difficulty, making treatment somewhat challenging. It’s been on my mind constantly and made today tough to get through.

I have been feeling very depressed lately, missing out on family things and home, last week was a real tipping point.

Went to a new chiro today. Turns out I have a few things going on…Piriformis syndrome, Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Upper crossed syndrome…sounds like magic spell names 😊. Finally explains the shoulder pain, numb arm, lower back pain, headaches, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, fatigue and overall super bitchy grumpiness. At least I wasn’t having a heart attack even though it felt like it Lol. On the scale of what is considered normal range of motion, mine was below half and I have practically no pulse on either side when putting my arms out to the side. Riveting stuff I tell you!

After embarrassing myself with some involuntary tears, the poor chiro guy apologised and sent me on my way. So drugged up and a glass of wine later, I feel a fraction closer to normal. Not happy, but almost normal.

Now all I need is to get some news my sister is healthy and ok.

Home

Golden sunshine rising in all it’s glory
Beautiful African sun
Deprived to see it and tell the story
For fear of staring down a loaded gun

Deepest blue oceans with whitest waves
Beautiful African waters
Violence leading to too many graves
Saddened by unnessesary slaughters

Wild life and culture like no other
Beautiful African life
Family killing brother on brother
Husband killing his wife

Mountains forming a wonderous landscape
Beautiful African wonders
Mouths silenced and covered by tape
Fear filled sky of thunders

Sancturay exceptional in so many ways
Beautiful African home
Unsafe so no one stays
Escaping to a foreign dome

For Africa runs deep in these veins
Engraved in all that we are
Missing the beauty and empty plains
Longing to not be so far