I’m exhausted, and yet so excited I won’t be able to sleep. It’s been a crazy 2 weeks and today was suuuper long. Went in to work at the crack of dawn and came home after dinner. I really felt like falling straight into bed. That was until my sister told me her husband is on his way to drop my parents off at the airport.
They are almost on their way. I feel like I have won the lotto, I am so excited and doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. I can’t believe they are almost here.
I can’t wait to hug them and take in the familiar smells of everything that is home to me.
We only have a short time together, and a part of me really wishes that we did win just a little bit of lotto to spoil them rotten lol. But I will take what I can get 😁
So happy, in this moment, right now.. happiest I have been in 3 years.
I can’t wait.. Yay!!
Gosh, what a shitty day.
My baby sis is in hospital with a blood clot on her lung… pregnant after much difficulty, making treatment somewhat challenging. It’s been on my mind constantly and made today tough to get through.
I have been feeling very depressed lately, missing out on family things and home, last week was a real tipping point.
Went to a new chiro today. Turns out I have a few things going on…Piriformis syndrome, Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and Upper crossed syndrome…sounds like magic spell names 😊. Finally explains the shoulder pain, numb arm, lower back pain, headaches, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, fatigue and overall super bitchy grumpiness. At least I wasn’t having a heart attack even though it felt like it Lol. On the scale of what is considered normal range of motion, mine was below half and I have practically no pulse on either side when putting my arms out to the side. Riveting stuff I tell you!
After embarrassing myself with some involuntary tears, the poor chiro guy apologised and sent me on my way. So drugged up and a glass of wine later, I feel a fraction closer to normal. Not happy, but almost normal.
Now all I need is to get some news my sister is healthy and ok.
Golden sunshine rising in all it’s glory
Beautiful African sun
Deprived to see it and tell the story
For fear of staring down a loaded gun
Deepest blue oceans with whitest waves
Beautiful African waters
Violence leading to too many graves
Saddened by unnessesary slaughters
Wild life and culture like no other
Beautiful African life
Family killing brother on brother
Husband killing his wife
Mountains forming a wonderous landscape
Beautiful African wonders
Mouths silenced and covered by tape
Fear filled sky of thunders
Sancturay exceptional in so many ways
Beautiful African home
Unsafe so no one stays
Escaping to a foreign dome
For Africa runs deep in these veins
Engraved in all that we are
Missing the beauty and empty plains
Longing to not be so far
Today I am feeling homesick… It’s difficult to explain. Just desperately need something familiar. I’m going to be an auntie, maybe the thought that I am missing out on so many things that are so important to me, makes me feel this way. Questioning if it is all worth it…the constant hard work, the worry, the tremendous sacrifice.
My mom’s birthday has come and gone, along with another father’s day. This year was a bit better, maybe it’s in part because I know I will see them in a couple of months…
Drove home tonight and finally sent my baby sister a voice note. I don’t do too well with Skype… seeing family and not being able to touch them is still too hard. Got home feeling exhausted and saw a message.
In that moment where I heard her message…and voice, I felt like I just wanted to be home. To go home and just sit and have a glass of wine with my mom and relax. No pressures to do more or do better or to move house or to stay or too make friends or or or…
Just something simple.