My mom’s birthday has come and gone, along with another father’s day. This year was a bit better, maybe it’s in part because I know I will see them in a couple of months…
Drove home tonight and finally sent my baby sister a voice note. I don’t do too well with Skype… seeing family and not being able to touch them is still too hard. Got home feeling exhausted and saw a message.
In that moment where I heard her message…and voice, I felt like I just wanted to be home. To go home and just sit and have a glass of wine with my mom and relax. No pressures to do more or do better or to move house or to stay or too make friends or or or…
Just something simple.
Apparently it takes two years to adjust…twelve months seem like a really long time and it is. a Year ago we were scrambling around getting all our things in order for our trip. It feels like it was just the other day. There are those moments where you so desperately miss family that it feels like forever, where the gap suddenly closes nearly shut and you remember the wave of emotions felt as if it was yesterday, you realize just how long it has been and how far away you are from the familiar warm embraces that you loved and now miss. It is surreal and you know it is not just a simple hop in the car and a drive down the road to go catch up.
I often check my Facebook and look at my nearby friends just to see that everyone I want to spend time with is 12000km away. I keep checking as if that gap would magically close and become smaller but it never does. Meeting new people and seeing them on there does not quite help just yet. In our rush to get on with things, work and trying to balance several other things we find very little time to make new friends. I definitely miss having someone pop over for a glass of wine or visiting family. It is the single hardest thing to adjust to.
Sometimes you drive in your car and see someone that resemble somebody you know and for a split second you want to believe they are magically there but then you realise you are just being stupid and they are not. It is weird how you carry the smell of someone with you, you can’t smell them but you know their scent and you just want a hug and to be surrounded by the familiarity of that smell… the smell of mom or dad, the feeling of dad’s stubble against your cheek… I miss it, it’s hard.
My boss and her family moved here when she was my daughter’s age, I also work with her brother and he was only six when they moved. Listening to him speak about their experience gives me hope. They started over and they are fine, they are all well, seem like a lovely close knit family, successful with a bunch of gorgeous kids. I’m really hoping my kids will look back one day and feel that we did something good for them. I honestly hope I will look back and feel I did something good for me.
Hopefully we will make some friends along the way and hopefully I can sip a glass of wine with a good friend that will get me and laugh at my stupid jokes. For them moment I do not feel feel like celebrating the last year that has passed.
I give new meaning to the phrase.
So rewind back to the start of the week…
Monday… OK traffic to work, good traffic home (might get there earlier)… Yip 10 min…Yay.
Tuesday, early start (yawn).. Repeat Monday
Wednesday, rush in to work (yawn),skip lunch, leave early..school parent teacher interview.. ..great child ( yay, small victory, feeling proud) get an early start to dinner. (YAWN)
Work..bed…. Formulate plan for dinner for tomorrow…. Will have this under control, will be good.. Aim to eat before 8pm..plan set
Wake up, rush, pre prepare dinner(will be amazing) traffic to work good..forgot to hang up washing (damn)…work..lunch..yawn…traffic home looking bad…(will be ther at 6:45… Not worried… Dinner sorted, looking forward to an earlier start to work) Have a plan, phone home to ask Jaime to put some rice on… So clever… Really have it down today… Suddenly realised slow cooker was not switched on… Gutted… EPIC FAIL!!!
Tomorrow can only be amazing.