3 Creative things I can’t go without.

 

creative

I love LOVE so many creative things that it is hard to decide which rank higher than others.

My first love… Canvas without a doubt. I love painting, I don’t have much talent and just mess around, but I adore it.  Oil on canvas remains my favorite, with acrylic short on it’s heels. I haven’t painted anything that required great effort on my part in a while.  Recently I dabbled around with some kids art and some funny cows but nothing worth jumping for joy.  It was purely for the fun of it.  I have several blank canvasses waiting to be covered in glorious bouts of inspiration and color.

My second love…I have a new found interest is digital design, and working on some ideas. Hopefully I can get my hand on a digital drawing pad and express away… sigh.. would be bliss.  I think it might just grow to be my new favorite but will have to see. I do love the traditional way of pencil to paper .I love how my pencil feels over a rough paper surface and the sound that creates as I apply it. Then there is the smell of paper and all things papery and beautiful. But for now, I am looking forward on my new venture of digital expression, so will share those mishaps eventually 🙂

My third love…There is something soothing and at the same time exciting about fabric.  I feel the same way about fabric as I do about paper and canvas.  The designs that speak to you and create an explosion of excitement when your mind gets flooded by all that you wish to create and make out of it.  I have just found the most exciting online fabric supplier.  Clicking on image after image all I want to do is order, and get my hands on as many of the beautiful designs as I possibly could.  Sigh, I need to win the lotto.. fabric is so not in my budget lol.

It definitely lifts my mood when I can play around with all the things I love.  I’m counting the days till my sewing machines arrive and till the day I can go buy my drawing tab.  It will be most exciting and enjoyable.

 

Birthday Tatts

Sooo, my birthday turned into a birthday weekend full of spoils. We spent most of the weekend with all our kids, sipping on wine and relaxing. As wonderful as it was, I was looking forward to my postponed birthday gift from my dearest 🙂

Wha laaa 🙂 🙂

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He went first … I considered chickening out, but mustered up enough oh-so-much-needed courage and after about 6 minutes I was branded for life 🙂  And YES YES, it did hurt! I am definitely not one for pain inflicted on purpose. Now it’s been about 3 days of healing, still looking a little bruised but healing well, so hopefully any discomfort and pain will soon be forgotten. I might opt for another one in future, but definitely not any time soon.

My heart is not singing..much

thoughts

Do what makes your heart sing, your soul dance and keep you fulfilled right?  Yeah, it is so true. Having a very creative personality it is so difficult when you are constricted and unable to express yourself.  Of course I am realistic and I know life is what it is, and we can’t just dance in the rain and be free to do what we want, and I’m not at all unhappy with the things I do on a daily basis. It is the creative side in me that rebels and reminds me constantly that is is deprived of truely great moments of expression.

I have my moments where I feel so unbelievably restricted, and at times it can feel quite claustrophobic.. almost like I desperately need to come op for air just to find that it is a brief gasp. I never realised how important certain things are to me and what meaning they hold but as I’m growing older and exploring the aspects of my personality I realize more and more what it is I want, and what I crave to feel fulfilled. I know I’m ambitious, which in itself makes things difficult. I had so much to prove to some people, which I have done and have gone above and beyond the small goals I set for myself. I suppose it circles back to the fact that I have satisfied certain needs, and in the process I have greatly neglected to satisfy my creative needs.  I’m sure it is a very difficult concept for people who are not creative to grasp, but it really eats away at you, slowly but surely.

I have left work on so many nights determined to go home and do something creative, just to get there exhausted flopping down on the couch with very little in mind other than seeing the girls off to bed and going to bed myself. So what to do, how do you fill the empty gaps deprived of all the little pleasures you love in a world that is so unbelievably limited.

It feels like a curse, equipped with the desire to do so much but chained and unable to. At the moment I’m looking forward to a holiday that is already filled with so many mundane “have to do” tasks hoping there will be a few moments I can steal to be just me. If only I can refuel with a little bit of what I so desperately crave, then I can see another year through. If not, I’m sure it will be great, but my heart will only hum, and not sing again until it has been covered in paint stained brush strokes, or filled with the words of endless novels.