Tyranny of Entitlement

Entitlement – In a casual sense, the term “entitlement” refers to a notion or belief that one (or oneself) is deserving of some particular reward or benefit.

This definition has festered and attached itself to so many people in society. The “right” to this or that. It’s disturbing how many people misconstrue the word though. There are those that are “born” with a sense of entitlement to the point where they see themselves as the centre of any situation and if the song is not sung to their tune then it’s false.

You can almost just grin and shake your head when you hear someone go off in a conversation shouting demands like ; “you will do this, and you must, and I have to have this..”And all because they have such a warped sense of entitlement. My daughter said to me today; “mommy, respect is something you earn right? Not just something you deserve” to which I replied yes, and added that through earning respect you are deserving of it, but nothing is just a given.

I feel at times society so freely gives people a sense of their entitlement to things, the younger generation is loosing the ability to gain a sense worth, and self respect. Society is filled with people “entitled” to jobs for which they hold no qualification, or to which they add no contribution even when qualified…but they are entitled to their salary. Mothers that are “entitled” to manipulate their children and use them against their fathers, or “entitled” to call their fathers pathetic… without any just cause but purely out of a sense of entitlement and vise versa. Children “entitled” to have the newest and latest of whatever just because they are “entitled” to it. Bosses demanding more than the job description, offering no compensation because their position “entitles” them to do so, and then the people who think they are “entitled” to be condescending and demanding.

Entitlement is the real root to all evil.
Fact of the matter is that you are entitled to have a life, be safe, be happy, be respected, be wealthy etc… But not without mapping out that road and laying down the paving stones before you walk on it.

Wedding Bells…

Van Gogh said: “Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.”

My friend’s widower father is getting married again, so preparations are very slowly getting under way. Googling for venues and ideas for flowers and so on, leaves me feeling an array of mixed emotions. Overwhelmingly excited to spend the day with them as they declare their devotion to one another and happy for the family for being blessed with such a great lady to be a part of their lives. I also have a feeling of sadness creeping in trying to get through the cracks, I can’t quite explain it. Maybe it’s a subtle reminder of a chapter in my life that is now closed and one where I failed so miserably, maybe it’s because it’s a chapter I know I’ll never again visit.

None the less, I remain excited for them, and can’t wait… Weddings are always so beautiful and leaves me pecking away the tears, because on that One day it seems like all your love is so unbelievably amplified, and there is nothing but you and your love and the invisible bonds created that bind you together surrounding you in bliss.

The Egyptians and Romans believed that a vital blood vessel ran between your ring finger on your left hand and your heart, so they named it “vena amori,” or “the vein of love.” Aaagh… So beautifully symbolic. Of course science has now proven otherwise, but the symbolism remains and this is why the tradition of wearing the wedding ring on that finger symbolizes eternal love.

With so many beautiful things and ideas to their disposal, I’m sure it’s going to be an absolutely beautiful day filled with new memories, family, laughter and eternal love…

I try

For TC:

We were put together for a reason, even if we cannot see.
It’s a card that life has dealt and connected we’ll forever be

I can no longer teach you or help you to grow.
Can’t brush your hair or tie your laces in a bow.

But I promise to always do the best I can do
I’ll be there to console you when you feel blue

I’ll stop and listen when you’re feeling low
Because I care so very much,
I can’t just let it go.

I’ll cook your meals, treat your colds or just go with you for a walk
I’ll be there when you’re hungry or lonely or just want to talk

I’ll give my heart, my time and love
Even if I’m last on your list and everything else is above

I’ll make sure your birthday is one special day
Please know you’re thought of often in a very special way.  

Even when you do or say something that injures my feelings
Just keep in mind that I hurt while I’m healing

I hope deep down inside you’ll know how much I really care
And if you ever need me I promise to be there

The Thought of you Grown

The thought of you grown

Oh how my heart aches to think of you grown
To think of you married, or living alone
To think of you working hard every day
To think of you having to say your own say
To think of you sad and filled with sorrow
To think of you worrying over the next tomorrow
To think of you having to pay your own bills
To think of you cleaning up your own spills
To think of you shopping with your own little list
To think of all the moments that I will miss

Does my heart ache from the thought of you grown?
As tears fill my eyes and sorrow my heart
I realize that the thought that is causing me pain
Is the thought my dear daughters of us being apart

I believe in my realizations

I love making lists. I don’t necessarily remember to look at them or even to take them with to the shop, but I still make them. I’m currently jotting down my “reflecting on 2011” list with my newly acquired life experience and knowledge that the past year has left me with.

Beliefs:
*I believe that flies are microscopic aliens trying to take over the earth.
*I believe that my clothes aren’t getting smaller, but that my washing machine is packing up and shrinking everything.
*I believe in the magnificent aroma and gloriousness of coffee.
*I believe that if you don’t eat chocolate you’ll end up with a chemical imbalance in your brain.
*I believe that cheese is great on bread, but fabulous with wine.
*I believe in my moisturiser and applying it in an upward direction.
*I believe that good underwear makes you feel good, great underwear makes you feel great.
*I believe a wife must seduce her husband.
*I believe that dessert can be a main meal or breakfast.
*I believe that if I fell into the ocean the fish around me would suddenly feel hungry and that any fish can bite.
*I believe that walking in public and eating at the same time is rude.
*I believe in the splendid earthyness of potatoes.
*I believe that I’m not going grey, but that my hair is slowly turning blonde.

Realizations:
*I realize that no underwire bra would ever make my boobs feel like they did before I had children.
*I realize that I’m actually allergic to our cat.
*I realize that I don’t like negative people … At all.
*I realize that some people aren’t worth having in my life.
*I realize that you can’t attach paintings to a wall with tic-tac.
*I realize that I want to be respected by people, especially my children.
*I realize that the world is filled with bad parents.
*I realize that no matter how bad my cooking is, my husband will eat it anyway.
*I realize that I prefer silver to gold.
*I realize that I desperately need to go get new reading glasses.

Hopefully 2012 will leave me enriched with longer lists of beliefs and realizations 😉